I am an artist. Let’s be frank and earnest about that. I have known this for approximately 25 years, but I have suppressed the knowledge, living by “should’s” and “should nots”. I should study something “respectable”. I should get a 9-5 office job. I should get married. (But not to my first ever boyfriend. I should have more experience than that.) I should buy an apartment. I should have children. Many children. Maybe eight of them. I should name them names that are both English and Hebrew so that everyone in my family can pronounce them. I should not think that I can be successful as a writer or as an illustrator. I should not think that I could ever be decent at playing an instrument. Or dancing. Or programming.
It’s complicated. And sure, I could go on with my list of should’s and should nots, but that’s not what I want to do right now. Right now I want to tell you a few things about art, kilts, birthdays and technology.
On Art: My collection for my “show” in November is moving in the right direction. I have five pieces underway and I feel strong enough to work at least three evenings a week on them, so my goal of six to ten pieces is looking realistic. It will be a slightly eclectic collection, maybe. But it will be honest. And it will be meaningful, if only to me, of visions and scenes from my life and my world and my perspective in 2013. How deliciously self-indulgent. I’ll post some pictures in my gallery as the work progresses.
On Kilts: We were in Edinburgh for a “kilted” wedding earlier this month. I felt like I was back in college for a week, sharing two flats with 14 adults and a baby. Parties every night. One night we ended up in CC Blooms because it was the closest bar that was open after 1am on a Sunday/Monday. Turns out it’s also a famous gay bar. My first gay bar!
On Birthdays: I had mine on September 9th. I’m 31, which is actually turning out to be a good age, mentally. It makes 30 feel like a novelty and it makes me see myself as a real adult. What that means to me, will unfold over time. But for starters, I think I’m finally ready to take myself seriously. One symptom of this which is already showing is in the first line of this post. I am an artist, and I am not afraid to face that fact or to talk about it, publicly, anymore. In fact, I am excited about the whole thing. PS September is also the birthday month for many of my closest and oldest friends, so Happy Birthday to Katie, Usha, Marjorie, Lev and Duane too.
On Technology: I am starting to change my relationship with technology a little bit. Right now I am in a phase of humility, working very hard to accept that I don’t know everything that I need to know and the only way I am going to feel confident in expanding my knowledge and abilities is to hold my hat in my hands and start at phase 101. That is, to pretend I’m 18 years old and interested in programming and because I’m a freshman in college I am allowed to know very little about what I’m learning and to actually – hey – learn something new. For real. So I enrolled in the Free MongoDB University https://education.mongodb.com to study MongoDB and Python and learn some JSON along the way. I’m three weeks behind in this class, but it seems like they are going to let me try to catch up, so…
That’s some of what is going on. It’s Saturday morning, a blue sky, sunny and mild day in San Francisco. I am not going to ride my bike in Golden Gate park today, as I did last Saturday. Instead, I am going to download my homework files and try to make up the first three weeks of homework for my new class.